Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Stepping Stones #1: About Love - Forgiving

By Greg Gourdian
Web Blog: http://tangledintime.blogspot.com/


Have you ever had a personal question about your life and were not sure who you could ask? This is your golden opportunity. When it comes to those tough questions about who we are and what we are doing with our lives, spiritual advisor Greg Gourdian is ready to respond. So open your heart about what is troubling you and let Greg look for an answer that may help you take the next step in your journey through life.
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Stepping Stones by Greg Gourdian will be a weekly spiritual and advice column here at the AstroStarBlog. Here is his first, about love and forgiveness, so appropriate for the full moon now in spiritual Pisces/Virgo:

Stepping Stones #1: About Love - Forgiving

What do we do when we hold things in our hearts which we feel badly about? How can we allow anyone to love us if we do not love ourselves? Love has many pitfalls and it is necessary for us to find peace within our hearts and to find love for ourselves before we can love anyone else or feel secure in regard to the love others have for us.

When we hold things in our hearts for which we feel shame or anger or pain or resentment or any other negative feelings, we find it difficult to love ourselves. Indeed, many of us come to hate ourselves with a passion and we may set about to destroy ourselves either deliberately or through neglect or by sub-conscious self sabotage. We may feel great despair that no one should love us because of the dark issues in our hearts, and we will very often convince ourselves that no one can ever truly love us because of our poor regard for ourselves.

In this state, because we feel we are un-loveable we will tend to perceive the love others have for ourselves as selfish and riddled with ulterior motives even if that love is pure and selfless; in this manner we spoil the gift of love that others may try to share with us thereby doing both ourselves and those who love us great injustice.

While many of us do not reach such an extreme and deliberately self destructive state in regard to ourselves and the dark places in our hearts, most of us are afflicted by some darkness in our hearts and we sub-consciously undermine our lives in our efforts to punish ourselves for whatever dark things we keep deep in our hearts. That part of our lives which receives the most damage from our self loathing and sabotage is our relationships to the people we most love or desire.

We must find it within our capacity to forgive ourselves for anything in our hearts which we have done which has hurt us or which has hurt someone else. It is not necessary for us to ever seek any forgiveness from anyone else. We do not need to seek forgiveness from others we have hurt because they may be unprepared to forgive us even though it will always be in their best interest to do so.

By seeking forgiveness from others we are doing ourselves harm. We have disempowered ourselves from being able to heal ourselves when we require others to forgive us. The one we most need to be forgiven by is our self. By forgiving ourselves of any hurt we may have caused to others or to ourselves, we empower ourselves to love ourselves and to heal.

While we need no one else to forgive us, it is still important that we forgive all others whom we may feel have ever hurt us in any way.

Forgiving others is like seeking to be forgiven, it is not necessary to seek out those whom you wish to forgive. However, if an opportunity ever arises to speak kind words of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you, then you should regard that moment as a golden opportunity to help yourself and to help that other person so that you may both heal and become happier human beings. It is always a good idea to act in that moment and to immediately create new healing.

Forgiveness is a wonderful blessing. It can be easy to give and yet it enriches our lives immensely. However, when we find it difficult to forgive ourselves or anyone else then the sores in our hearts can fester and these sores will slowly poison us day by day making our lives darker and leading us into greater misery, pain and despair, all of which may often be unnecessary.

We create this pain and misery for ourselves as a signal to pay attention and to immediately take the appropriate action to heal ourselves by forgiving. But if we choose to neglect the roots of our pain and misery we will be unable to address the issues in our lives which linger on unresolved, and which will then continue to harm us. The choice to forgive is ours to make and we can prevent much pain and misery in our lives by choosing to forgive anything and everything which may happen to us the very instant it occurs.

Just as we will reflexively pull our hand away from a fire if we accidentally put our hand too close to a hot fire, so too we should reflexively forgive any harm which is done to us or which we may have done to ourselves. Failure to quickly forgive anything which happens to us which may seem to have harmed us is as dangerous to our well-being as is leaving our hand too near to a hot fire.

Forgiveness is all about love. If we wish others to love us we will be unable to accept their love so long as anything in our hearts remains un-forgiven. When we have opened our hearts and forgiven everyone, including ourselves for everything that has ever hurt us, we are able to receive love without doubts about our worthiness interfering with the love we are meant to receive; doubting the love we receive can only ever cause us more pain.

When every hurt in our hearts has been forgiven, then we become free to love everyone around us more effulgently, thereby gracing all of our lives with our joy, our happiness and our warm regards for everyone. In this state where everything is forgiven we are prepared to love and to be loved in a manner that can only bring us even greater joy and happiness.
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Do you have a question for this column? Please write to Greg Gourdian.
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BIO:
Author Greg Gourdian has worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. Much of his written work is channeled, although he will admit that he has no idea who many of the sources for his channeled work may be. He has many strange tales to tell regarding his spiritual journey and he attempts to tell his tales in a humorous or entertaining manner. While not an accredited teacher, Greg has taught classes in psychology, sociology, metaphysics and parapsychology.

Visit Greg's blog at http://tangledintime.blogspot.com/